Risky date proves romance still alive

In a letter to the editor on Oct. 29, Nolan Wildfire put the ball back in my court. Would I be willing to go on a date with a complete stranger to prove that dating without mixed signals and technology’s impersonal communication is preferable? Of course I would.

The reaction to the letter from the girls I know (and probably those I don’t) proved my earlier point about the lack of creativity and clarity in our generation’s version of dating. These girls seemed excited and fascinated that a guy would make such a grand gesture, and I felt like I was representing every girl hoping to find romance and sincerity in dating. The idea of a guy publicly declaring his intentions to take a girl on a date and not waste time playing the game before making his move was a shock for most of us. Then again, it is out of the ordinary for a guy to use the school newspaper as a means of communication, but I admire his ingenuity. Not only was it a bold move, but it was flattering.

How could I not agree to go on this date and expect my column to hold any credibility? With no reasons to refuse and every inclination to accept, I called Nolan and said “yes.” I spent the next two days actively telling people not to tell me anything about him (coincidentally, we have several mutual friends) because if he was willing to forgo any reconnaissance work via Facebook or other means, then so was I. After all, that would be technology stealing the mystery. Going through the emotions normally associated with a date — nervousness, excitement, curiosity — I was still questioning his sincerity. Was this guy serious or was this some sort of mean joke? Either way, I was willing to respect his courageous move and take a leap with or without him.

Sunday night as I waited outside the Golden Roast I was nervous to see just how awkward this first date would be. Fortunately, it wasn’t. From the minute he introduced himself, Nolan was friendly and assertive, an encouraging breath of fresh air in a culture that almost encourages males to be timid and indirect with females as a means to be “sexy and mysterious.” He opened the door, chose our table, ordered (and paid) for our drinks and instigated every minute of the conversation. I sat down to drink tea with a guy I had never met who asked only for thirty minutes of my company, “nothing more, nothing less,” but I definitely think I got something more. This was a first date in its purest form, just a guy and a girl getting to know each other in a neutral setting with no strings attached.

We laughed about the unique situation and how he came to use The Daily Beacon to ask me out on a date. He explained that he had read a few of my columns this semester and talked to one of his friends about how he liked me and what I had to say, to which his friend responded, “So, what are you going to do about it?” This question would be responsible for his letter and our date. Across the table we found common ground and discovered similar values. We talked about everything from our families to politics to Boy Scouts.

As thirty minutes turned into four and a half hours, I realized this was the date every girl (and guy) deserves. The chance to get to know someone without trying to figure out their intentions by reading between the lines. The whole experience was so much simpler because I was able to enjoy his company without worrying about any mixed signals. It makes me wonder why we are almost willing to give up the security of knowing just to avoid the vulnerability of being honest about what we want. We have to decide where the line is between playing the game and being happy.

For every girl still hoping that good dates exist, I want to tell you they do. For everyone afraid to take the leap and be vulnerable to someone else, I say jump.

Editor’s note: See page two for a photo of Robin and Nolan on their date.

—Robin Overby is a senior in journalism and electronic media. She can be reached at roverby@utk.edu.