Student looks forward to scalping tickets

I am totally psyched for this new ticket system. In fact, I would love to point out all the great benefits that we, as the student body, will have during next fall’s “competitive” season.

I for one can’t wait to see my peers scalping tickets to the big games. Did you luck out on getting the Florida or ‘Bama tickets? Don’t worry, because for a small “handling fee” by our peers we will be able to get our hands on some upper bowl tickets together — for $150 each.

For those of you thinking about trying to “stick it to the man” and watch the regular games at home, think again. I look forward to the local media blacking out some of the televised feeds to try to force us to go to the games. I simply can’t wait to pay $15 to watch our third string totally dominate Wyoming. That would be totally worth it. Unless Eric Berry is handling the snap, throws a bomb for 35 yards to himself, and finishes with an amazing dive into the end zone through Northern Illinois’ amazing, blinding defense — count me out.

Don’t fret too much because when you sit down in that $150 seat for the Florida game with your buddy, you will get to do the greatest thing of all. When Jonathan Crompton lays back and bombs one to the open arms of Austin Rogers in the Florida end zone, you can finally turn to your broseff and proclaim, “Now THAT is competitive athletics. That is so my $15 at its best!”

Chris Persons

Senior in enterprise management