Sexuality not path to true love

Why, oh why, do nice girls dress like trash? It’s so sad to I drive down the Strip and see girls who could easily be mistaken for prostitutes. They strut their stuff and bask in the turned heads and attention of the guys they pass. Then, it’s off to the hunt--clubs, drinks and flirtation. It’s all well and good, but I wonder if the girls really want or understand the limits of the kind of attention they’re getting.

See, guys give two kinds of attention: sexual and every other kind. As Robin Williams said, “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” Which means the more a guy thinks about sex, the less he thinks about everything else.

Every woman wants to be attractive, but no one wants to only be thought of as attractive. We want to be appreciated, respected, and loved. But when we are seeking a connection, sometimes we’ll settle for just being desired.

One-night stands are the ultimate manifestation of this compromise. Of course, the saddest thing about one-night stands is how many girls don’t think that’s what they are. I’ve seen too many girls get crushed by their high hopes, waiting for the phone to ring. Even when the phone does ring, it rarely provides a happy ending.

Girls hope that if a guy wants to sleep with her, he’ll stick around and will eventually love her. But it never happens. Most of the time, the guys won’t even like her. But even if they do stick around after hopping in the sack on the first night, it won’t become the relationship she is looking for. The day you have sex, the relationship becomes stuck on the same track. The relationships that follow a one-night stand are based on sex and can never endure without it.

If you don’t think so, try to cut him off.

The problem is that almost everyone can have sex. And the less substance you offer, the less competitive you are. Which makes you easily replaced the second you become more trouble than you are worth to him. So when you are in a mostly sexual relationship, you can never risk being cranky, angry or unyielding. The sad truth is that one-night stands can last for months.

But I’ve never heard of a classic love story, or even a good relationship, that started with “Well, Daddy really loved the way Mommy gave body shots and table danced.”

Dating is like selling a product. You advertise your asking price with your body language and appearance. The sluttier you dress, the lower your price drops. Anyone willing to show up and wait in line can afford you, or at least that’s the message you send.

This message does two things: attracts guys looking for the path of least resistance and repels guys who want quality. You might turn their heads, but that’ll be the end of it. You’ll never get a decent guy if you don’t act decently. Clothes send a message about your standards and self-esteem. Do you want your message to be, “Top-quality. High end. Top of the line.”? Or, “Free samples. No purchase necessary. Name your price. Everything must go.”?

Is there a fine line between slutty and sexy? Yes. It’s about the middle of your thighs, four inches above your nipples, halfway down your back, two inches below your belly button, and three inches under your heels, at a bare minimum. Do you think that’s too prudish? I can’t stop you--raise the hemline inch by inch. But remember this column the next time you complain about not being able to find a decent guy. You might be getting what you ask for.

-- Sarah Pevey will be a first-year law student in the fall. To suggest a topic or comment on this column, email her at spevey@utk.edu