"Underworld" performances decent

Sometimes, a movie takes a genre already weathered and infuses it with new life, creating a truly original movie. Other times, a movie takes two popular movies from the action genre, puts them into a blender, and creates a huge mess. Then you have "Underworld"; or, more aptly, "Enter the Blade-Matrix." "Underworld" is the story of the centuries-long war between the Vampires and the Lycans (werewolves). Selene (Kate Beckinsale) is tracking a group of Lycans, when she suddenly realizes they are tracking a human named Michael (Scott Speedman). From there springs a typical convoluted plot about revenge, double-crosses and revelations that shake both clans to the core. Thrown into the mix is a lesson about racism. To tell much more would be giving away the plot. This illustrates the main failing of the plot: Its about as thin and unoriginal as a Krystal. The performances are decent. Kate Beckinsale does a good job of scowling and wearing leather. This is the depth of the part written for her. Scott Speedman looks lost the entire time, but so does the script. The rest of the cast drifts in and out of the movie without much of an impression. Even worse is the portrayal of the two clans. The vampires' only otherworldly powers seem to be jumping off buildings and, like Beckinsale, looking good in leather. They never fly, turn into bats or even eat a human in the entire movie. They also drop like flies when the Lycans even touch them. The Vampires claim to be immortal, but the Lycans do a good job of carving up an entire train car of them about midway through. The Lycans are not nearly as fearsome as they put on. As humans, they look brooding and dark, but they soon transform into what appears to be giant hemorrhoids. It's hard to be afraid of something when it can be killed with a prescription cream. The look of the movie is dark and very slick, but there are problems. First, the movie has three colors: black, blue and white. It leads to a monotonous look, not helped by the fact that it rains every single second of the movie. This is an action movie with no good action scenes. Each scene builds up to a veritable crescendo, then releases with nothing but a whimper. For every second of worthwhile action, there are 5 minutes of vampires brooding at each other. Also noteworthy is the fact that everyone in the movie shoots with the accuracy of a blind man having a seizure. Selene goes through more bullets than anyone in the movie, but hits very few people. And when she does, it's only to introduce a plot point. "Underworld" takes an unoriginal idea and makes it even worse. The topical appeal of the cinematography and of Beckinsale in leather is forgotten about halfway through this monotonous tripe. Wait to see it until it's the FOX movie of the week. It shouldn't be too long. Grade: D-