Fever goes down in flames; plot, characters unbelievable

Traditionally, movie studios use corn syrup as their substitute for fake blood. For "Cabin Fever" they probably purchased a few hundred 55 gallon drums of it. Yes, "Fever" has all the makings of a classic horror movie; blood, guts, thrills, guns, butcher knives, chase scenes and sex; lots of it. Following along with its genre is the use of the f-word. Or overuse, rather. Cartman, Kenny, Stan and Eric would be tired of it one-third of the way through the film. However, considering the movie's script is so bad anyway, it never really matters what they say. While most bad movies start off promising and then go to waste, this one is a bomb from the beginning. Five friends have just finished finals and are off for their break when they head to the woods for a little rest and relaxation ... and more. Things get shady when a mysterious stranger shows up with hideous skin lesions on his face and bleeding eyeballs, the result of some vile flesh-eating-disease. Sounds great, right? This is where the story plummets. As the story progresses, one of the group members gets sick and so naturally, doing what any friend would do, they seclude her in the shed as to avoid contamination. While doing so they decide finally to get help, except of course, there are one or two things in their way. Naturally, the car won't start, for it has been nearly destroyed due to a fight with the aforementioned mysterious stranger. Also, another one of the group's members is developing symptoms. Unfortunately for this film, the sex and violence is not enough to save it from going down in history as the worst flesh-eating-disease movie ever. There are too many things that leave the audience going, "Huh?" at the end. The characters make too many questionable moves, even for a horror film. It didn't go quite as far as the sexy girl running up the stairs or the dumb guy tripping over nothing in the woods, but so many things would never add up, even in a dramatic movie. Sarah Janney, a junior civil engineering major agreed. "Who gets water from a stream now anyway? Worst horror movie I've (ever) seen," Janney said. Granted, like great works of art, most everyone gets what they deserve or what was coming to them. It's just that the film seems too much like it was made by over sexed high school kids with a $3 million budget. Even the Hulk was better. Grade: F