60 Seconds not enough time to salvage Cage

All the cute little plays on words are already being hurdling out of critic's mouths everywhere.

"They better hope the people who see this movie won't be Gone In 60 Seconds."

"Nicolas Cage better pray this movie isn't Gone from the theaters In 60 Seconds."

How clever. But, seriously, Cage definitely needs a long run from this movie to get back on Hollywood's proverbial A-List of actors. His three movies since City of Angels have had declining box office numbers. Cage hopes to regain his reputation with Gone In 60 Seconds.

Gone is the story of Randall "Memphis" Raines (Cage), a retired car thief, who is forced back into one more night of crime. Kip Raines (Giovanni Ribisi), Memphis' brother, has carried on the family tradition of grand theft auto, but gets himself in a bind with Raymond Calitri (Christopher Eccleston), a man who's willing to kill the entire Raines family to get what he wants.

Jerry Bruckheimer (The Rock , Armageddon) does not create an action movie with flat, one-dimensional characters. He creates half of an action movie with flat, one-dimensional characters.

Bruckheimer also had to turn the thieves into people you could root for. So, even though a police car was run in front of a speeding eighteen-wheeler and another was hit by a wrecking ball and smashed through a concrete wall, no policemen died during this movie.

If they had, they would have missed Memphis' terrific car jump near the end of the movie. You could almost hear Waylon Jennings break into "Good Ole Boys." Yee-Haw!

Robert Duvall and Angelina Jolie could have missed this movie altogether. Duvall is an Academy Award-winning actor who deserves better. His character's only job was to mark the cars off the list as they were stolen. Jolie was there to look pretty and be the one female who wasn't old (Grace Zabriski) or in Titanic (Frances Fisher).

If you really love cars, you should see this movie just for the eye candy. But, if you like a quality story or even just a stupid action flick, this film probably won't make your 60 seconds. Rating: C-